sometimes i am really lost...
lik now i suddenly donno wat i want,
wat do i want in my life?
wat am i expecting?
wat do i have in my life??
how come i felt lik as if i never improve?
how come i felt lik i am still in the same place same position from the beginning till now??
when can i feel the improvement??
i know i hardly stand up for myself
i know i hardly do things for myself
i guess i did "something" but slow...
but how can it b so slow???!!
too super slow, to b exact!!
how can i not hate myself?
so many many questions which have no answers thus no solution...
thus here i am...
stuck on the same position

i've been watching the same cartoon over n over again juz b'cuz i lik the cartoon
LOL
been eating food i lik everyday!! been sitting on my fav place for long hours without doing anything beneficial!! hohoho

once i lik dat something i will do it over n over again without fail!! wat a weird person i am.. haha! dats me!!

weeeeeeeeeeee

7/04/2010
bought my camera d. finally~fiuhhh~~~
cost me around RM790 but i guess its worth it?
12.1MP wif 15xZOOM
hehe
dis is kinda lik a dream since i am a lil gal..
so its a dream come true??
NICE~

been thinking wat would LIFE be without him~
i dont know y but somehow i felt something's amiss.
mayb n mayb i tot... is the same issue dat havent have a solution.
but after some time... i realize it wasnt dat issue
its because i am willing to sacrifice for a selfish person?and i am not saying sacrificing for u is not worth but how can u b so selfish??
its not dat i want him to throw everything aside n concentrate on me..
but if u want something, u have to work hard to get it, isnt it?
especially when u want ppl's daughter.. u somehow have to try n learn to get along wif the parents.dats wat u should do!
he said he rather let go than facing my mum..
he say my mum look down on him...
oh dear dats not the reason u should giv me..
u should at least try!
u know wat... i am slowly giving up ad...
till i can cope life without u... i am gonna say eternal goodbye to u dear. n u know it..
so lets juz wait n c...

i discover bit by bit......the ME in ME!! =)

i am a "pendiam" since i was a lil kid... i always get dis kind of comment whenever the "report card day" comes..

guess those teachers can see what others might not see. =)

frankly, i dislike talking n is too lazy to speak up even for a simple reading we used to have in class. i used to hate oral reading test! LOL!

but now i am average dy. i don hate talking dat much anymore. but still i am lazy to talk. plus, sometimes talking overload makes me feel tired. i seriously dont know y.

most of the time i got lots of comment lots of crap dat i wanan share but when i talk too much i will feel tired. no energy.

i think i have to admit dat............ I AM A WEIRDO!! Oh me god! haha!!

feelings

i dont know how. but somehow the feelings r coming back. i guess its cuz v r getting closer now?
i dont want those feelings to come back.
so i shall concentrate on something else.


forget bout this sad part. :P


lets talk bout tJ. :)) weeee~~
i've been cleaning my room bit by bit.
~old dy. cant clean all one shot.:P
hehe
and fortunately....manage to dig out one old box. my fav box!!
awhhhh~!! saw all those letters... from kY, fatt, gino, and etc etc..
hehe forget bout those letters...
main point is i found the letters i wrote to tJ!! :))
those letters were suppose to remain in the box cuz i never plan to deliver them to him.
but somehow... after about 7.5yrs? i manage to deliver it out to tJ via msn.!!!!omg!
i really cant believe me!! i actually type the letter all over again in msn to him. of cuz, upon his request la..LOL!! but i send him first sentense FIRST la.. :P hehe
we had some great time laughing bout the "funny" letter.
after reading it. i somehow realise, back in 2002, i really do love him, really crazy+desperate bout him LOL
so am i now hehe
still sayang him so so much :)))


to tJ,
i will b there................... no matter wat.
:]

a montly expense book konon..

when i started to record all of my outgoing expense,
i think its a good thing to do
cuz i know how much n wat i've spend for the month
dats the purpose of such book rite??!
well.. its a good thing i tot,
but now..
its giving me HEART ATTACK each month n all the guilt i felt was irrecoverable!!!
end of each month i will b thinking...
"crap!! how nice if i've saved up half of wat i've spend??"
"hL! u r a BIG BIG spender!!"
dis book leaves me wondering how am i gonna survive in the future when the amount of my spending is almost a month's salary of a worker. i mean those general clerk.

been thinking to continue dis book for yr 2010 or not...
sighhhh

never ending lil prob keeps flowing in... :s :(((