feelings

THERE R TIMES...
i wanna run away..
i wanna hide..
i wanna disappear..
i don wan ppl to know me..
i don wanna know others..
i wish i am retard enough so i wont know anything..
i love u..
i hate u..
i understand u..
i decline u..
AND
there r lots of times i wanna shut my world off..
due to stress..tension..complicated life..
complicated feelings..
feelings i cant fight..
feelings i cant hide..
WORSE
i dont wanna understand myself...
BEST
too afraid to understand myself..
BECAUSE
as usual..
life is hard..
life is hectic..
life is suffocating..
life is unexpected..
BUT
~its all in the mind~
i was told dat "mind" created all dat..
cuz ~likes attracts like~
the more u think of those bad experience..
the "mind" create more bad experiences for u to feel all the sorrow..pain..etc..
wow..how powerful brain can b..
guess i need to think of ways to control it..?